Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Every Child was playing, while I snoozed on the couch
The stocking were limp by the chimney; struck bare
stripped of the goodies St. Nick had stashed there
My husband was nestled all snug by my side
while the Christmas lights twinkled on our small tree outside
And Todd in his Polo and I in my dress
sighed heavily, releasing all the holiday stress
When up in the loft there occurred such jovial banter
I had to listen close to see what was the matter
Away to the stairway I flew like the wind
to quietly hide and to listen right in
Triston, Barrett, and Sage were all speaking so sweet
about all of their presents and all of their treats
but their thankfulness was what gave me great pause
for they were looking to write "thank you's" to Dear Santa Claus
They spoke of his kindness and the life he does live
while thinking of others and loving to give
they promised that this rule would be their new calling
to give well to others and help without stalling
Now smiling and sighing, with a lightened warm heart
i crept back to the living-room, to my cozy couch spot
the tree twinkled brightly in the dimly lit room
as i thought to myself, Christmas passes too soon
if only we could capture this kindness all year
would the sad things in life start to all disappear?
if we lead with our hearts, convalesce those in sorrow
could we avoid senseless tragedies in each new tomorrow
perhaps if we think like the babe in the manger
and lend a kind ear to the soul of a stranger
a kind of Christmastime glow would engulf this great land
with goodness and love finally taking a stand
To listen with kindness and to take action when called
might just change the world, even with acts quite small
so as this day of celebration comes to a end
we might reach out one more time and make a new friend
Try to keep Christmas by spirit and heart
with small acts of kindness, it's one way to start
As the end of the day starts to draw near
Try to keep Merry Christmas though out all the Year!
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Well, the holiday season is officially upon us. This Thanksgiving was a momentous occasion for our family this year...the first holiday spent in our new home in North Carolina, many miles away from the friends and family that I grew up with. I can't say that a wistful sigh didn't pass my lips as I busied myself in the kitchen, thinking with a tingle of longing that last year at this time the kids were running, creating havoc with their cousins, with Todd and his brothers talking shop and soccer in the living room and their wives helping me in the kitchen. This year, I stood alone in my kitchen, whipping up Thanksgiving delights, with only my ipod and the occasional interruption from River to keep me company. But this holiday was not sad. Not in the least. We started to create new memories, new traditions, that I hope will last in the years to come. The kids and I started a "Thankful" book, where they each had a piece of paper and wrote down what they were thankful for this year. We will do this each year from now on and I am going to compile them into a book. It's amazing what they thought of. There was the usual, being thankful for toys and electronics...but some surprising things too, like family, our country, our soldiers, and life itself. I'm sure it will be fun to look back on these in years to come. River enjoyed his own version of Thanksgiving dinner...an organic turkey and squash dinner that Daddy found last night at the store with peaches for dessert. As I looked around the table today, I couldn't help but think that next year Triston will be in middle school, and River will be a year and a half, and everything will be so different. But my goal is to stay in the moment, and enjoy the now. We ended dinner with a family soccer game...the kids beat Todd and I with a score of 8 to 6...they were excited! So, while we definitely missed our family and loved ones, we know that despite the miles, the love is still there. I am thankful for our family and the love we have for one another...love that lead to one last "festivus" miracle today in the renewal of a family relationship that had been terribly strained. When you least expect it, life throws you a new and wonderful turn, and if you're smart, you go with it. Happy Thanksgiving everyone.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Friday, October 26, 2012
I always knew I was going to marry you...when I was little I named my dog Todd because I knew that was going to be the name of the prince that was going to marry me and take me away forever and make me the happiest girl on earth. Through my awkward teen years and my turbulent twenties, I never lost hope that I would find you...while ours was surely not a fairytale meeting (drunk off our asses at the world's cheesiest night club), it was meant to be. I truly believe there are no coincidences. We were both there by chance that night and I almost lost your number in the parking lot. Then there was Rob answering the phone and me being over an hour late to our first date. Persistence has been the theme of our relationship and I believe it keeps us going. We want to believe in each other. We do believe in each other. Each time an obstacle comes our way, we take each others hands and bravely face the dragon head on. In eleven years we have had four children, moved five times, lived with family, gone through jobs, friends, and pets. Each time a problem pops up, you are the first person that I run to because I know that with you by my side, I can face anything. I love raising our children with you, I love the life that we have together, and most of all, I love you. You are my sun and moon and stars, you make my life beautiful. I have always loved you, and I always will. Happy Eleventh Anniversary!
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Family is a fickle entity, you can never predict what relationships will thrive and which will unravel. This past year saw an end to some of my familial relationships and a new beginning with others. I always wanted to have a big family, envying those commercials of big families around the holiday dinner table. I wanted my kids to have oodles of cousins and those great aunts that kiss you on the cheek with their bright red lipstick while knocking you out with their overwhelming perfume. But circumstances have dictated otherwise, and Todd and I are soon to find ourselves alone in Charlotte. At first I was really upset, but the more that I think about it, the more OK I am. I am simply going to build, from the ground up, the type of family I always wanted to have. Todd and I already have a strong relationship with our children (so I'm really hoping we don't get the "nursing home" treatment...) and my marriage is equally strong. I have a strong sense of tradition and we already have lots of little traditions concerning the holidays that the kids all look forward to. While I was extremely sad to learn that our treasured Christmas decorations were lost in the move, I have decided to look forward to a wonderful time creating new memories and new keepsakes with the kids. I'm looking forward and seeing our family grow and having the kids celebrate holidays with their wives and husbands with Todd and I, all together, just like the commercials. And that thought comforts me.
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Battling post-partum emotions isn't exactly a cake walk, especially when those emotions are compounded by bipolar disorder. My moods have been shifting so erratically that I can hardly keep up with my own mind. One thing that amazes me though, is how River is so incredibly in tune with what I'm feeling. I don't know if it's the breastfeeding or just how much time we spend together, but whenever I am feeling hopeless or lost he seems to recognize that and smothers me with extra big smiles and happy coos. No matter how bad I am feeling, there's something about that two-tooth grin that lifts me up from my darkest moments. Baby Zen #2: Smiles can work miracles.